Better Late Than Never; I'm Back

More about church: I just finished a book by Frank Viola (not to be confuse with the former Mets pitcher by the same name) titled Pagan Christianity. Viola has been a leader in the house-church movement the last twenty years and is considered an “expert on new trends for the church” (whatever that means – it was written on the jacket liner). His premise is that very little of what we do in church has any scriptural basis, and that most of what we do in church is based on traditions established by the ancient Greeks and Romans – hence the word pagan, as it relates to their religious ceremonies and beliefs. This includes everything from the role of pastor, to church buildings, to music, to tithing, to baptism and communion, to Sunday “attire”, to the sermon. The book is a serious, academic effort substantiated by much research and punctuated with tons of references, both current and ancient. It’s an easy read, but it ain’t no Max Lucado book. Anyway, near the end, after making his claim that the institutional church is not only unbiblical, but also harmful to spiritual life, he states:

Many people find themselves in a real dilemma today. They want to be the church, as God intended, but they are not exactly sure how.

The last year or so that I was a pastor, I began to have my own doubts about how church was done – and especially if our practice of church had any Biblical basis. I began to search through the scriptures and I simply couldn’t find a single place where God or Jesus directly said anything about starting, building, administering, facilitating or having services that in any way resembled what we, as well as any others, were doing. My search had begun, partly because, #1 - I just couldn’t see a whole lot of success in what we were trying to do as a church (in fact, it seemed we were getting worse), #2 - I had a terrible sense that what I was perpetrating was a lie, and #3 – some folks that I was close to, and trusted, were asking some hard questions about church that I had no answer for.

I thought back to an earlier time, when I was “between churches” (a nice way of saying I got fired), and a few friends would come over on Saturday night and we would eat, laugh, cry, sing, pray, encourage, eat more, and those who stayed late would watch SNL or music videos on MTV. There was no schedule, no sermon, and no one asked you for money. These informal gatherings might happen again during the week, as people felt comfortable dropping by, or we all just descended on someone else’s house. Viola would tell you that this is how church is supposed to be. Ironically, we never called this church. But after doing this for a few months, we did feel compelled to stop doing it, and decided we would start a church.

This resulted in a multi-year process of renting buildings, where we moved equipment in and out on a regular basis, to getting our own building, which we laboriously poured much time and money into, to the point where we had grown and some were talking about adding on to our building, or even the possibility that we might build a brand new building. Of course, as pastor, I was the leading protagonist, and had mastered the art of manipulation so that God’s work could be done (i.e. keep those people committed!). I think it’s safe to say that, even though I studied and actually wrote down volumes of sermons (which I have since thrown in the garbage), not one word of those sermons can actually be remembered by any of the listeners, which makes it even safer to say that none of it actually changed any lives. Think about all the man-hours lost, sitting there listening to me say, literally, nothing of any import (at least those new chairs we bought were comfortable). As is the case with most churches, there were still a lot of good times, and there was some good accomplished, and some good relationships were built. But did this effort really help us to be good Christians? Search me; I don’t even know what that means.

To say I feel guilty for having fomented this entire fiasco would be an understatement. But the years have provided healing, and having a forum like this, where I can confess, brings healing as well. It also helps to know that some of the so-called flock that I shepherded have also escaped the reigns of religion and are also seeking true ekklesia.

I’ll go ahead and go on record as saying that I think church, as we know it, sucks. I expect that will inspire more than a few responses (if anyone actually reads this blog) and I welcome them – that’s what makes this type of forum work. You can call me bitter, angry, or burned-out. All I can say to that is: we could have been at the lake all those times we were sitting in that building!

I am still a seeker of spiritual things, and want truth, whatever that is. My theology has changed a lot (that’s one reason I threw out all those sermon notes). I still long for worship, for community, and for relationship with a higher power. But, much like Viola , I ask … How?

If you have any ideas, please respond.